Day 1: How did I get into this mess???

Lets go back a couple of years to 2003. February, the weekend before Valentine's Day. I met this VERY hot hottie... I refuse to name names....lets just call him.....Sean. he was looking good and so was I. At this time in my life I had a GREAT job working for the local phone company in my city, Frontier Telephone in Rochester, New York. The money was good and I only had my daughter living with me at the time. My son live din TX with his father. Well on with the story....he was fine to say the least....tall, about 6ft 1inc, brown skinned, nice shave & hair cut, pretty big lips...kinda L-L-ish. I just had to get with that, SO we exchanged numbers and after a couple of months we were a pair. I lost my job due to poor attendance...(going on mini-vacations with him), and I got all new clothes(he thought all my old ones were too tight). That was only the begining. as the years went on I had to know where he was at all times so I got cell phone for us. First with T-mobile then with AT&T. (noone was paying the bills). I would give him money to pay bills and for some reason when he paid them the company made a mistake and lost the payments...never to be seen again. Soon I was pregnant with the first girl, we'll call her J. I had another good job with Verizon Wireless and soon had to give that up. I was giving him half my paycheck every pay period and didn't save for my own car. He would conviently not be available to take me to work or pick me up at times. Once I had to walk about 3 mile while 8 months pregnant to get back into the city because he wouldn't pick up his cell phone. In 2006 I decided to go back to school since I didn't have a job and the military would pay me to go. Now I was preggers again!! (STUPID!) Anywho.... I had another girl... Nuts. Now during that pregnancy, I was begining to see what was going on....he had another girl.....call her Trisha. Now what I believe he was doing was giving her my hard earned money and spending time with her when he was so conviently unavailabe. Did I mention her NEVER spent the night with me. He always had something to do, or would just lie and say he'd be back and not come back for a few days.....(I was an IDIOT). Needless to say I smartened up.....I kicked him out. Then, one day, I looked in the mirror and did not know who was looking back at me.